Sneak Peek into Poetic Memoirs ©

So this time I wanted to do something a bit different. For those of you that know me, you know that poetry is a passion that I have that runs deep. My love affair with words has been a long lasting one! And finally I choose to share it.. During this book writing journey I am finding out  so much more about myself not only as a writer and artist, but also as  strong woman. Here is a sneak peek into my first book. Although i am still a work in progress! Let me know what you think!

With much Love and Respect,

~Vjay

“Loves reality”

Certain of what’s in store

I transcend above: Watching myself in a surreal like setting dwelling in the midst of confusion.

The direction to go clouded by the uncertain certainties..

positively negative results,

And the masked tales of people… you thought you knew.

The only thing that remains true or constant is the lack of trust that paralyzes my mentals.

My mind serves as my safe heaven, because only there does harsh realities mimic longed for fantasies.

And now this too has been perforated.

Emotionally I drift through this parallel universe call destiny..

Fighting for salvation.

I float hesitantly towards new beginnings for the fear of the fucked up endings.

My knees blister from praying

M eyes tire from Constant tear flowing.

My heart beats sluggishly from all the preexisting damage from bitter-sweet Love battles.

My up bring taught me to fight! And never question why..

As life continues to show me just how real the fuck things are… my strength depletes.

To me, it’s almost ironic that people say “Things happen for a reason.”And they allow that to be their comfort.

What could be the reasoning behind so much pain?

Starring at blank skies..

On the back of my neck I feel the cold breath of Karma passing by sending stab like chills through me.

Eerily I feel her stalking my next move.. My next encounter.

Cursed before we even meet our destiny seems predetermined.

Making our first kiss the beginning of our destruction.

Armed with only my mind, my soul and my heart.. Hurt continues to build.

 Simultaneously my mind continues to fight for deliverance as

My soul weeps- as I feel the exact moment my heart breaks again.

Untitled

Beauty unmasked to reveal the true ugly.

Deceitful lies and Unbreakable ties.

Unbearable tears free fall as memories wrapped in fears flourish.

Long lasting doubt continues to surround me.

Push forward, move on, stand strong!

Reciting these words daily in remembrance of who I use to be..

The stronger me lies six feet deep.

The lesser me weeps in hopes that no more pain mounts.

As my heart beats to a now delayed rhythm

My mind stops to replay the last damaging blow.

That moment staying freshly burned into my psyche.

Praying for it to all be a dream, my skin crawls in anticipation of waking.

Turning dreamland  into a living nightmare..

Followed by restless hours of blank stares.

Gazing into the mirror I watch as my inner most pours outta me.

Despicable to myself, I fall to my knees in despair.

What more can I lose?

 

 

PERFECT

Riding myself of all my impurities.

Starting with my insecurities

And ending with my vices.

Many Self Sacrifices

And mass suicides of Unhealthy toxins…

Negative minded people

Rather it’s my family or friends

Or Just Passer Byers with preconceived notions of my life.

I was born to be different this is clear

But that doesn’t mean unhappy.

So I purge..

I purge myself of all that claims to be good in the light

But shifts gears at Night.

Riding myself of all my impurities!

And my imperfections.

Cutting and bleeding myself dry of hurt.

Eliminating all signs of hatred.

I forgive you… So I can simply Be...Me.

I forgive you… Even if you don’t deserve it.

Because simply my utopia is worth it!

I rid myself of all my impurities..

Insecurities..

And self doubts.

Standing here naked in front of the mirror of life

Not as a girl

Not as a boy

JUST ME…

PERFECT